FireFly Facilitation Answers a Blogger’s Meeting Effectiveness Question

Recently, one of our blog readers commented on the Introverts/Extroverts post by asking the following question: “No matter what, you always have at least one team member that doesn't play fair. As a leader, how can you encourage overbearing personalities to play by the ground rules without ridiculing them at the same time?”

To answer that question, there are several things you can do as a leader:

First, tell the group you want to spend a few minutes talking about some "conversational ground rules" we can adopt to make sure that our time together is as effective as possible. Ask for some suggestions for some ground rules that they have used before or seen others use that they think might work really well for this group. One that I have seen groups adopt is "Everyone participates" (and then ask people to police their own level of participation - am I participating enough? Too much?).

"Speak in headlines" is a good one for groups that have people who take the floor and then expound too long on a topic. Discuss with the group the ground rules list you developed – and then select only the top 3 to 5 that everyone can agree to live up to. Be sure not to make a list of 10 things we will never do – you want rules that will stick and be effective.

Next, as the leader you have to make sure and keep these ground rules front and center. Many of the teams we work with actually include them as part of the agenda, so it is right in front of people during the meeting. Better yet, especially early on, write them on a flip chart piece of paper and post them in the room. Challenge people to courageously acknowledge when they have broken a rule – and just as courageously to (gently) point out when others have too.

Finally, if this individual is still causing a problem in meetings, then you need to deal with him/her one on one. Help them to understand how you perceive their behavior and the negative impact you see it having on their relationship with other team members. Ask how you can help him/her to alter their behavior – and then make clear that you expect a change. Be sure to watch for – and recognize, privately or in the meeting, as appropriate – positive changes to their behavior. And get ready for more engaging and productive meetings in the future!